| Spotlight - game movie ladies |
|
Movies based on videogames have become staple additions to our cinemas and although these releases attempt to cater to the fans of the games but also movie goers in general, is this where things fall flat on their face, or are us gamers very particular about our gaming characters? Either way, the transition to film is never met with eager anticipation but more like a morbid interest, well from hard nosed gamers anyway. So like many games which substitute sex appeal for substance (mentioning no names) the ladies that appear in these movies are varied in skill but always pleasant viewing and not necessarily based on any particular game character. We take a candid look at some of the females that have appeared in these not so well received game related movies. Is there a point? No, but at least they all look pretty which seems like a prerequisite for appearance. Tsk.
STREET FIGHTER: THE MOVIE - Kylie Minogue as Cammy.
Cool, British (well Australian as most confuse the two) and complete with figure hugging outfit - although seriously lacking in those over exposed cheeks. Kylie was a purveyor of gaming characters coming to life. With lots of high kicks and cannon spikes, she performed the role as good as the script allowed, which isn't saying much. Still, she has an oily place in our hearts.
SILENT HILL - Radha Mitchell as Rose Da Silva
Rose Da Silva's world was turned upside down as her only motive for existence was finding her daughter in the weird and surreal town of Silent Hill. Regarded as one of the better movies based on a video game (if you can excuse the dire phoney American accent from co-star Sean Bean) Radha performed the scared but determined role admirably, and of course she knows how to scream like the best of them.
RESIDENT EVIL APOCALYPSE - Sienna Guillory as Jill Valentine.
Jill Valentine the co-star of the original video game and appearing in her own game in Resident Evil Nemesis was brought to life by Sienna who looked sassy, sexy and perhaps too smart arsed to be taken seriously. There's no denying that she captured the look perfectly, except the movie was only mildly entertaining, a bit like her character in the film.
HOUSE OF THE DEAD/ALONE IN THE DARK - Ona Grauer as zombie fodder.
Regarded as one of the worst low budget video game movies, Ona performed as good as what was presented to her...zombies. Enough Said.
MAX PAYNE/HITMAN - Olga Kurylenko as obligatory hot female.
Not actually based on any game character, Olga's presence has been pretty similar in both game movies she has appeared in. However, Max Payne refusing to jump into bed with her has to be one of the most dire decisions any male with a penis could ever make. Where do these script writers get their idea's from...video games where violence rules and sex is taboo. Shame, we would have liked to see Mr Payne get it on with this stunning character, oh well at least Agent 47 has his priorities right.
RESIDENT EVIL - Milla Jovovich as Alice
Alice was not a character from any of the Resident Evil games, and so her appearance as the leading lady in the movies seemed a bit of a let down. However, Milla really got into role and seemed to give it her all despite the fact that kung fu moves and OTT gun-play was far removed from the game, well unless you count Albert Wesker's super powers. She got her kit off though which is always an eye opener.
STREET FIGHTER LEGEND OF CHUN-LI - Kristin Kreuk as Chun-Li
Street Fighter Movies have been laughable (animated series excluded) and this new film features Kristin as the Chinese detective Chun-Li. SpinningaBirda kicks and the to die for thighs seemed lost here. Which is probably best for this movie that doesn't even appeal to fans.
DEAD OR ALIVE - Holly Valance as Christie
Good casting or just an excuse to see the lovely Holly in her underwear? The DOA movie was dire, but the ladies were certainly as nice to look at as their polygon counterparts (minus the excessive boobs). The cold hearted Christie was possibly played a little too soft, although enjoyable to watch if you've got no access to DOA inspired hentai porn on the Internet (wait a second, that's just wrong on so many levels, but still very true, yikes - Ed).
TOMB RAIDER - Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft
There's no denying that Ms. Jolie is beauty personified, however the Tomb Raider movies she appeared in were mildly entertaining yet reasonably close to the source material. Acted as well as the script and action allowed, Lara was certainly brought to life, and it's amazing that Angelina didn't stuff some sponges under her bra for the role...or did she? In fact did she even wear a bra? These issues being far more thought provoking than anything the movies could conjure up. Says it all.
FINAL FANTASY THE SPIRITS WITHIN - Dr. Aki Ross as herself
Showing off new CGI technology at the time, the movie was 'interesting' for the sake of the graphics, but the plot and direction leaved little to be desired. Aki on the other hand was rendered very well, although the movie would have no doubt been appreciated more if she performed the Michael Jackson 'Thriller' dance routine in the movie or got her digital kit off to spice things up. At least it would have been a talking point which possibly could still be raging today. Wasted opportunity.
FINAL FANTASY ADVENT CHILDREN - Tifa Lockheart as herself
A more realistic Tifa in this fan service movie certainly gained a few fans, except the movie wasn't as good as expected. Her fight scene in the church was memorable except her character wasn't. Dayamn!
POSTAL THE MOVIE - Jackie Tohn as Faith
Uwe Boll's take on this rather violent and wacky game series is as contrived as the characters within the movie. Jackie's role is merely eye candy which tastes as sweet as gum that's stuck to your shoe for about half a mile. Breaking all sorts of political correctness, the film is as dire as Mr Boll's reputation.
ALONE IN THE DARK - Tara Reid as Aline Cedrac
An expert in Ancient languages and a sidekick to Christian Slater who played as Edward Carnby in a movie which is best left in the dark. No matter how well or bad Tara acted, nothing escapes the fact that this is pure crud that should be left well and truly alone.
So there you have it, and expect more to come as the next wave of movies based on video games hits the big screen alongside an equally well presented female cast. There's talk of who should play the role of Lara Croft in the next film, but no matter who it is, this won't escape from the fact that expectation for the movie is already low. Condemned before it's even created. Should producers give up on the idea of making game related films and stick to making real movies, or are these here for our tainted amusement?
Posted By: Robert Cram
Date: 2009-05-27
|
